PBR in China!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Blue Ribbon under the Red Sun!!!

The long road to Ye Xing

Last week we had travel to Ye Xing to look at teapot.  The trip was not without it's little kinks.  Leaving Jingdezhen we encountered problems.  Two hours in our bus had broken down, blew the head gasket.  Mechanics fixed the problem, on the road, literally.

 After a six hour delay, we were back on the road (Lei Chow won the bet, never bet against a Chinamen).  Two hours later our buss broke down again.  This time it was night.  We called the police and they saved us, they called cabs and booked us at a local hotel, and made sure we got there and no one ripped us off. They got us a good deal on the hotel and even tucked us in, not really.  The Chinese Police are fucking awesome!  The next morning we were interviewed by CCTV. "American Trapped in China, Find it OK."

We got another bus and made it to Ye Xing, bought teapots for three days, no joke, and got back on the rode.  Our bus broke down again on the way back, this is how we felt.

But the bus was fixed again. After an argument, The bus driver thought the machanics had ripped him off, he used the same ones!  But they fixed it again and we made it home. 

The end

The Hole!!!

This is it, the Chinese Version of a Glory Hole (not really)

The Poop is for added effect!

This is a toilet.  There are some sit-down littered about but for the most part, you'll be shitting in this.  It is a porcelain fixture--not just a hole mind you--that was designed to be squatted over.  The Chinese must have figured that "hey we've been doing this for thousands of years, fuck you, we'll stand if we want to!".  In all actuality, I like the hole.  It makes everything faster and easier!  The position is probably the best for pushing out even the most stubborn movements.  In this position the legs are fully utilized and pressure comes from the whole body (another way to use your chi I guess).  The draw backs not as numerous as you would think.  Drunken shit adventures may be hazardous as you must fully support your self, clasping the wall or the pipe behind usually does the trick.  But hey, the alcohol content is so low in Chinese drinks that you probably won't get drunk any way.  The girls complain about splashing ankles during a number one.  But the most obvious drawback is the inability to read while waiting to hike the ball.  I've always been an avid bathroom reader but it seems that now, the bathroom is all business and no fun. but that's OK, on average I save about three hours a week! 

Thumbs up Chinese Toilets!

Shanghaied!!!

O.k. O.k. time to get this up to date.

We flew into Shanghai sometime in the evening and I was at first intimidated and frightened then excited and then strangely aroused. Shanghai is big, like New York big but fucking bigger. We drove into the city from the airport at night. Think Blade Runner meets Star Wars meets dirt poor street venders selling t-shirt, bag, dvd, watch and you might get the picture. Seriously, the only English that was spoken was an attempt to sell knock-off goods in little holes carved into the sides of giant skyscrapers--"(the first thing to learn son is how to say) watch (then you will move to) Hand-bag (and then finally) DVD"--find of sad but hey money is money and any westerner is rich according to Chinese misconceptions. 

Our hotel was located above a men's clothing store:

The hotel's kitchen had fish on display. I think it was either like a picture menu or they were like "hey look how cool we are, we have fish

I wanted to eat him!

Besides all the venders, Shanghai was filled with wonder there was a McDonald's, a KFC, and a Pizza Hut!  For the most part McDonald's and KFC looked the same, but the Pizza Hut, man that was ritzy--black ties and everything!  We went looking for this place called something-something garden and got lost, we got confused because we were looking for an actual garden when in-actuality the place was the shopping center we had wandered into.  In an attempt to find some kind of wireless network I had stumbled across  "Internet Cafe" that was filled with teenage kids smoking cigarettes and playing WOW, go figure.

Creep, isn't it?

And then there was this guy:

Crazy Dancing Guy, someone was playing a saxophone on a balcony but this guy stole the show(my video wouldn't upload so just use some imagination will ya!)

Next time,

The Ins and Outs Of the HOLE!

ins and outs of the Chinese Internet

The cord for my camera is missing so instead of posting all the awesome cool happy fun pictures i've been taking, I guess I'll post this video from VBS.tv (kinda cheap, I know)

Two Weeks In and all I got was this lousy cold

I have a little bit of catching up to do but i'll do most of that later.

China is really interesting right now. The whole country is going though a pretty big transition, which makes this a very interesting time to be here. It's not like Western Culture is fully embraced but more like it is seeping in very slowly. The people are fascinated by us (the Americans) and it is very easy to get caught up in playing Rock Star. The food is amazing and nothing like the shit you can get at China House, but there is a KFC on every corner. The music is... well think electro euro trash with chinese singing. There's too much to really process now and I don't feel like writing anymore. be prepared for the next installment of my Chinese Adventure Blog.

Later!!!